At 2 1/2 years of parenting, life is a kind of busy like we’ve never known.  The busyness is reflected in the lack of blog posts among other projects in life that have fallen off.  Today we dropped the kids off for three hours just to take a nap and catch up on our to-do lists.    At least we have supportive grandparents in town to give us the break.  I’m more amazed by single parents every day.

So where do we stand at this 2 1/2 year mark of parenthood?  Well, today was mother’s day, and I think Eli’s exclamation this afternoon pretty much summed things up.   “Mommy, I just peed in the grass!!”  Yup, we’ve crossed the potty training threshold.  (The grass was only his advanced move after mastering the toilet on Friday.)  And I must say, when he finally figured out that potty, it was my proudest moment as a parent.

Other random thoughts and highlights from the past two months:

• Eli’s memory for names – especially random short encounters (for weeks he asked where Richard was.  Richard was the man who installed our dishwasher.  Also for weeks after our vacation to Florida, he asked about Buck.  Buck was a man we met on a walk one night.  Or Bob…the man doing laps in the swimming pool.)
• Watching Eli struggle with time.  (Everything is yesterday or last night.  ”We went to Florida yesterday, or I went to cousin Jonah’s house last night.” for months after our visits.  He also constantly asks what time it is.  And when we answer, he says, “Why?”  That’s a tough question to answer.
• Eli comes home from daycare one night starts calling us Mr. Dad and Mr. Mommy for the next 2 weeks
• Liam seems to be a more pensive baby than Eli was.  While we had Eli’s deep bellied laugh at 3 or 4 months, Liam makes you work a lot harder for his short-winded chuckle.
• Russ turned 4 years old on Cinco De Mayo.  He was our first boy, and life with him alone seems like a decade ago.
• Rachel starting her MSW amidst a full time job, and raising two kids under three years old.  She’s following her dream and inspiring me every day.
• On our honeymoon almost 6 years ago, Rachel and I wrote down a fantasy business plan for a restaurant we would open someday (and who hasn’t had that fantasy).  Last month a restaurant we’re partners in opened down the road from our house.

Bonus photo for Liam since he is being far less recognized on the blog than Eli was and I don’t want him to develop a complex.  You’re just the second born, Liam…I’m sure you’ll bond with my little brother someday over life as the younger sibling.

Take it away Mr. Brown…

First the Giants win the second come-from-behind, Super Bowl in 5 years, and then the excitement of that dovetails right into this:

and then this:

and this (catch his teammate Landry Fields screaming at the :10 point):

and this (the dangling band-aid is a nice touch):

and now this: (notice the crowd reaction?  That’s an away game.  In Toronto.  Not NY.  Toronto. )

I’ve never seen anything like it.  I’ll never see anything like it again.  It’s the greatest part of sports.  The out of nowhere, nobody believed in him, nobody saw it coming, humble team player takes a city, a franchise, a sport by storm.  He personifies everything we love about sports and helps us forget all the things we hate about it.  In a time where the business of athletics and the ego of athletes make it harder to relate, there are the Jeremy Lin stories that reconnect us with the simple joy of playing a game and entertaining the fans.

Linsanity!

]]> http://ethanash.com/2012/02/15/the-greatest-week-of-sports/feed/ 2 ethanash linsanity-covers http://ethanash.com/2012/02/15/two-kid-parenthood-at-3-months/ http://ethanash.com/2012/02/15/two-kid-parenthood-at-3-months/#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:40:06 +0000 ethanash http://ethanash.com/?p=1919 ]]>

I wouldn’t say it’s getting any easier, but the idea of being parents of two kids is at least settling in as our new reality.  This coming weekend we’ll have a 3-month old in Liam and a nearly 2.5 year-old in Eli.  Really?!  When did that happen?  Our lives have become so full and focused on what we’re doing for the next two hours, that when we finally slow down and take a step back, it feels like we’re catching up on weeks of events.  I guess that’s one of the reasons we’ll need to keep the blog, photos and albums going.  Because when we finally take those breaks, it will be nice to have something to joggle our sleep-deprived memory.

Since my last posting, we’ve continued with the infant routine of 1-2 hours of sleep followed by 1-2 hours of wake.  That’s pretty much infant life for 3 months. Add to that a 2.5 year old that gets more energy, language, wit and manipulation with every week, and you’ve got a picture of where we’re at today.  I’m really not complaining, just describing the reality.  Eli has never been more fun to be around.  His vocabulary exploded a few weeks back and now we’re talking to an actual kid.  He seems to remember just about everything he hears and sees.  So if he doesn’t know a word, you tell him once and it’s locked into the toddler database.  As for his big-brother role, he seems pretty into it.  I’ve heard him talk to other people about his brother Liam, he’ll sometimes kiss or hug the guy and generally show interest.  But then there are also those moments like this weekend when his grandpa dropped him off, and Eli said that Mommy, Daddy and Russ live here.  But not Liam.  ’No, Liam does not live here.’

A few highlights from the past couple weeks:

• Family vacation to Sarasota.  Spending a eight days without the distraction of work, computers, house stuff, responsibilities etc.
• Visiting the cemetery of Eli and Liam’s great-grandparents in Sarasota.  Two people that never knew our kids.  Two amazing people I would have loved to see our kids interact with.
• Building the first sand castle and construction site at the beach with Eli.  Do we have kids in part so we have an excuse to really play again?
• Visiting the orange grove my grandfather used to pick up fruit from every week.  Making fresh squeezed orange juice and eating on the “lanai” just like my grandparents did every morning.  Then taking the same 2.5 mile walk they took every evening before dinner.  Life’s pleasures should always be so simple.
• Eli’s first swim lesson with Rachel.
• Liam’s first smile.  Watching Rachel react to Liam’s first smile.

Eli in Florida:

Liam:

A few highlights from the past few weeks:

• Eli seeming to find interest in all things musical – calling out the names of different instruments when he hears them in the car.
• Eli’s favorite instrument – Harmonica (or Mahkana-maka) – See video
• Eli starting to “read” books to himself.  Walking into his room to hear him “reading” with the same inflection when we’re reading to him at night.
• Eli playing with, and already looking up to his older cousin Jonah.  Brings me back to time as a kid with my own older cousin.
• The first family road trip down to NJ to visit Rachel’s parents.  Rachel in the back between two boys…flashback to her childhood with two older brothers.
• Eli’s last day of “Tuesday’s with Nani”.  Eli spent every Tuesday with his Grandma Karin from 3 months old until 2 years, 1 month.  Now he’s in daycare full-time and Liam starts the “Tuesday’s with Nani” in February.
• Looking at Rachel when both kids are finally asleep, and just laughing at the life we find ourselves in today

Here’s a photo/video update of the two kids at their respective milestones.

Eli @ 2 Years & 2 Months:

Liam @ 6 Weeks:

Mahkana-Maka:

Liam rolls @ 1 month:

Liam Ellis Ash arrived at 2:16pm, Friday the 18th.  If the delay of this post is any indication, time has already been twisted and taken on a new form in our lives.  A few reflections on the birth:

• Rachel said she felt a little “off” on Thursday night.  Her last words before falling asleep at 8pm on the sofa were “I think this could be it tomorrow”
• Rachel’s mom woke up at 3:30am in New Jersey, looked at her clock and said, “Rachel’s going into labor”
• Rachel’s water broke at 4:15am.
• Eli came into our room at 5:15am and for once, we didn’t send him back to bed.  One last cuddle for just the 3 of us.
• 5:30-9:45 – Rachel showered, made Eli’s lunch for daycare, watered all plants in the house, emptied the dishwasher, directed me around all while pausing every 10-20 minutes for those inconvenient contractions.  :)
• 10am – We leave for the hospital
• 10:30am-  We’re set up in the room and ready to roll
• 1pm-  6cm dilated, I decide it’s halftime and a good point to visit the cafeteria.  I fill my try with food and checkout with a bill of $4.  (Subsidized food!).  I sit down and enjoy a leisurely lunch, reading the Ithaca Times.
• 1:30-  I head back to the room and run into a couple in the elevator, asking me what I’m there for.   I tell them it’s for the birth, and they say “wow, and you’re not in the room?”  To which I reply that it’s the 2nd child.  And they laughed and said, “of course.”
• 1:40pm-  I walk to our room, now filled with 3 nurses staring at me and the baby warmer now positioned near the bed.  I take it in, and realize we’re further along than expected.  They tell me they were about to page me, and that Rachel is now 10cm dilated and ready to go.
• 2:16-  Arrival…of a boy

Since Liam arrived before Thanksgiving, we’ve had a week of family in town and plenty of food.  The past two days have been the new reality of our family of four.  I started this blog 3 years ago when Rachel and I made the move to Ithaca.  As I type this now, we have everything we could have been hoping for…

It’s getting harder to remember a life without this guy running around.  At 2 years, we’ve settled into some sort of a parenting routine and he’s pushing new boundaries each week.   We’re not sure what to expect from “the terrible twos”, but he knows what he wants and has learned how to use “no.”  For the most part his assertiveness is still cute, but we’ll see how long that lasts with another Ash on the way any day now…

A few clips and pictures at his 2nd birthday:

Eli reading to Russ (and aggressively patting him)

Eli reading magazines at dinner (a demand at every meal)

Eli bites it at gymnastics (and dad holds back laughter)

Eli opening a gift on his birthday (quite the reaction to a pair of pants)

And then the biggest highlight.  Meeting Bill Murray at a Cornell Football game. 

Since my kids won’t know much of him, just a few quotes and video from the outpouring of sadness and respect on his death.  I was trying to understand why so many people are so saddened by the death of a businessman they don’t know.  Perhaps it’s his clear and idealistic view of life’s purpose as much as his beautiful products.  Maybe it’s that we’re losing someone that kept us on our toes with curiosity and excitement; eagerly anticipating what next piece of technology he would roll out that would change the way we live our lives.  Or maybe it’s that he brought a humanity and joy to the often cold world of capitalism, business and technology.  For me it was all this, but most refreshing were his thoughts on living a fulfilling and meaningful life….

Quotes:  

“Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma ― which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. … Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

Commencement Video:

Amazing how much of an impact one person can have on the lives of so many.

Took a trip last month with dad and brother to Bryce and Zion National Parks.  The highlight of the trip was a 16 mile hike through The Narrows, a deep canyon section in the Virgin River in Zion.  Hiking the Narrows was ranked 5th by National Geographic in “America’s top 100 adventures”.   Three-quarters of the hike is through the river, and we were told that we would have water up to our chest in a few sections.  They didn’t say that there were sections that we would be actually swimming with full gear on our backs.  (See last picture in slideshow above).   But the hike was incredible.  We were one of 10 groups that had permits to hike the full trail and camp overnight in the canyon.  The walls of the canyon are over 1,500 ft. in places which gives the trail a feel of complete seclusion.  While camping overnight, you can faintly see the giant cliffs above you, with a sliver of the most clear stars and moon through the peaks.  Growing up, our parents were pretty big into wilderness vacations.  But, to take a trip as adults and friends, not as parent and kid, was something we’ll appreciate the rest of our lives.  By the time we reached the exit of the park, I was already picturing the day I would bring my own son on this hike.  Thanks for a great trip, pops.

Dad tackles The Narrows (Viewer discretion- foul language from the old man)

I had been living in NYC for a little over one month.  I got  on the 4/5 train before 9am from Brooklyn to Manhattan for a job interview.  At the Broadway/Lafayette subway stop in lower Manhattan, I left the underground to transfer to the Lexington train uptown.  When I exited on to Houston Street there was chaos on the street.  I noticed the fire engines and police cars first, then the unmarked cars with lights and sirens all heading downtown.  Then I noticed the people running, one of them yelling that a plane hit the World Trade Center.   I moved down the street half a block and the trade center came into view.  There was a huge gash and smoke pouring out of the building.  Like most people, I assumed that a small plane must have accidentally hit the tower.  I stood there for a few minutes considering what to do and then left, assuming that I still had to make the job interview.  I got on the 4/5 train uptown, buzzing with chatter about the accident.  At the 14th street station, someone got on the train and yelled that another plane had hit the second tower and we were under attack.  I got off the subway at the 42d street station and called my cousin back in Brooklyn.  He told me he was watching TV and that the Pentagon had just been hit as well and that there were reports of additional planes in the air.  I went across the platform to get to the downtown train back to Brooklyn and made it halfway between the 42nd and 34th street station when the train stopped and lights went out.  I was in the first car and could see light from the 34th street station around the corner, but we weren’t moving.  The conductor came on the speaker after a few minutes and informed us that all trains were being stopped due to an incident at the trade center.  We waited in the tunnel until they moved us to the next station to let people out.  When I got out of the station at 34th Street everything above ground was a confused scene.  All traffic had stopped, people were standing in the middle of the street listening to radio reports from cars stranded in the masses.  There were reports of additional crashes, reports of more planes in the air and rumors of a plane heading for the Empire State Building (which was a few blocks from where I was standing).  We had a clear view of the burning towers, and that’s all that people were watching.  At this point, a few people started screaming and we saw the first tower collapsing. It was the most surreal site to witness.  A tower that had looked so immovable and central to the NYC skyline was collapsing on itself in a silent, dusty explosion.  There were gasps, screams and cries all around me.  I stood with everyone and continued watching for half an hour until the second tower fell.  During this time, I ran into a friend of my uncle’s and he told me to follow him to his coworker’s apartment.  From there, I reached my uncle and decided to spend the rest of the day with him at his 22nd street apartment.  (All trains, tunnels and bridges had been closed, so there was no way to get back home).  While walking to my uncle’s apartment, I started catching people walking uptown with dust-covered suits.  There was a flat look on most people’s faces.  I didn’t see a lot of shock or panic…just disbelief.  The most memorable reaction was when I reached the outside of my uncle’s apartment and saw a woman completely covered in grey dust, weeping in a man’s arms.  When I passed, I heard her say something about people jumping off the tower.  That was the first time I remember feeling the human impact and not just the structural and societal impact.

I spent the rest of the day watching the replays of the images on my uncle’s TV.  I called the restaurant which was my employer at the time and the manager told me I had to find my way back.  He told me it was quickly becoming the busiest night of their history.  When the subways opened, I made my way back to Brooklyn and to the restaurant.  As he said, the restaurant was filled both inside and out.  The air was thick with the smell of the burning towers, and debris consisting of half burnt business documents blowing down the street.  I spent the rest of the night serving people from the neighborhood.   On a day of such horror and confusion, I believe people were looking for something positive and reaffirming.  Perhaps they were looking for the most basic of needs…a human connection and a sense of community.