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At 2 1/2 years of parenting, life is a kind of busy like we’ve never known. The busyness is reflected in the lack of blog posts among other projects in life that have fallen off. Today we dropped the kids off for three hours just to take a nap and catch up on our to-do lists. At least we have supportive grandparents in town to give us the break. I’m more amazed by single parents every day.
So where do we stand at this 2 1/2 year mark of parenthood? Well, today was mother’s day, and I think Eli’s exclamation this afternoon pretty much summed things up. “Mommy, I just peed in the grass!!” Yup, we’ve crossed the potty training threshold. (The grass was only his advanced move after mastering the toilet on Friday.) And I must say, when he finally figured out that potty, it was my proudest moment as a parent.
Other random thoughts and highlights from the past two months:
- Eli’s memory for names – especially random short encounters (for weeks he asked where Richard was. Richard was the man who installed our dishwasher. Also for weeks after our vacation to Florida, he asked about Buck. Buck was a man we met on a walk one night. Or Bob…the man doing laps in the swimming pool.)
- Watching Eli struggle with time. (Everything is yesterday or last night. ”We went to Florida yesterday, or I went to cousin Jonah’s house last night.” for months after our visits. He also constantly asks what time it is. And when we answer, he says, “Why?” That’s a tough question to answer.
- Eli comes home from daycare one night starts calling us Mr. Dad and Mr. Mommy for the next 2 weeks
- Liam seems to be a more pensive baby than Eli was. While we had Eli’s deep bellied laugh at 3 or 4 months, Liam makes you work a lot harder for his short-winded chuckle.
- Russ turned 4 years old on Cinco De Mayo. He was our first boy, and life with him alone seems like a decade ago.
- Rachel starting her MSW amidst a full time job, and raising two kids under three years old. She’s following her dream and inspiring me every day.
- On our honeymoon almost 6 years ago, Rachel and I wrote down a fantasy business plan for a restaurant we would open someday (and who hasn’t had that fantasy). Last month a restaurant we’re partners in opened down the road from our house.
Bonus photo for Liam since he is being far less recognized on the blog than Eli was and I don’t want him to develop a complex. You’re just the second born, Liam…I’m sure you’ll bond with my little brother someday over life as the younger sibling.
On another Monday morning after a near sleepless night with sick kids, I listened to a song from Greg Brown and his show that Rachel and I saw on Friday. Parenting is hard. It’s even harder when you’re running on the fumes of sleep deprivation. But then there are the moments when you have a chance to slow down and look at the innocence and purity of your kids and it fuels you to get up and do everything you can for them again and again. I’m grateful for our kids, my wife and our very supportive family this morning. And for Greg Brown of course.
Take it away Mr. Brown…
I wouldn’t say it’s getting any easier, but the idea of being parents of two kids is at least settling in as our new reality. This coming weekend we’ll have a 3-month old in Liam and a nearly 2.5 year-old in Eli. Really?! When did that happen? Our lives have become so full and focused on what we’re doing for the next two hours, that when we finally slow down and take a step back, it feels like we’re catching up on weeks of events. I guess that’s one of the reasons we’ll need to keep the blog, photos and albums going. Because when we finally take those breaks, it will be nice to have something to joggle our sleep-deprived memory.
Since my last posting, we’ve continued with the infant routine of 1-2 hours of sleep followed by 1-2 hours of wake. That’s pretty much infant life for 3 months. Add to that a 2.5 year old that gets more energy, language, wit and manipulation with every week, and you’ve got a picture of where we’re at today. I’m really not complaining, just describing the reality. Eli has never been more fun to be around. His vocabulary exploded a few weeks back and now we’re talking to an actual kid. He seems to remember just about everything he hears and sees. So if he doesn’t know a word, you tell him once and it’s locked into the toddler database. As for his big-brother role, he seems pretty into it. I’ve heard him talk to other people about his brother Liam, he’ll sometimes kiss or hug the guy and generally show interest. But then there are also those moments like this weekend when his grandpa dropped him off, and Eli said that Mommy, Daddy and Russ live here. But not Liam. ’No, Liam does not live here.’
A few highlights from the past couple weeks:
- Family vacation to Sarasota. Spending a eight days without the distraction of work, computers, house stuff, responsibilities etc.
- Visiting the cemetery of Eli and Liam’s great-grandparents in Sarasota. Two people that never knew our kids. Two amazing people I would have loved to see our kids interact with.
- Building the first sand castle and construction site at the beach with Eli. Do we have kids in part so we have an excuse to really play again?
- Visiting the orange grove my grandfather used to pick up fruit from every week. Making fresh squeezed orange juice and eating on the “lanai” just like my grandparents did every morning. Then taking the same 2.5 mile walk they took every evening before dinner. Life’s pleasures should always be so simple.
- Eli’s first swim lesson with Rachel.
- Liam’s first smile. Watching Rachel react to Liam’s first smile.
Eli in Florida:
Liam:
Woah. At the six week parenting mark, I’ve finally found 30 minutes of free time to make a blog entry. That’s kinda’ what life with two kids feels like. We’ve got these very rare quiet moments when two kids are asleep…when we can either catch up on our own sleep or tackle one thing we’ve been thinking about or wanting to do for ourselves but can’t when the two kids are awake. Actually, when Eli is in daycare, life doesn’t really feel that different than it did with one kid, but the minute he comes home, or the weekend/vacation kicks in, it’s full throttle. Once again, I have no idea how single parents do it, and I’m more thankful for Rachel than ever before.
A few highlights from the past few weeks:
- Eli seeming to find interest in all things musical – calling out the names of different instruments when he hears them in the car.
- Eli’s favorite instrument – Harmonica (or Mahkana-maka) – See video
- Eli starting to “read” books to himself. Walking into his room to hear him “reading” with the same inflection when we’re reading to him at night.
- Eli playing with, and already looking up to his older cousin Jonah. Brings me back to time as a kid with my own older cousin.
- The first family road trip down to NJ to visit Rachel’s parents. Rachel in the back between two boys…flashback to her childhood with two older brothers.
- Eli’s last day of “Tuesday’s with Nani”. Eli spent every Tuesday with his Grandma Karin from 3 months old until 2 years, 1 month. Now he’s in daycare full-time and Liam starts the “Tuesday’s with Nani” in February.
- Looking at Rachel when both kids are finally asleep, and just laughing at the life we find ourselves in today
Here’s a photo/video update of the two kids at their respective milestones.
Eli @ 2 Years & 2 Months:
Liam @ 6 Weeks:
Mahkana-Maka:
Liam rolls @ 1 month:
Liam Ellis Ash arrived at 2:16pm, Friday the 18th. If the delay of this post is any indication, time has already been twisted and taken on a new form in our lives. A few reflections on the birth:
- Rachel said she felt a little “off” on Thursday night. Her last words before falling asleep at 8pm on the sofa were “I think this could be it tomorrow”
- Rachel’s mom woke up at 3:30am in New Jersey, looked at her clock and said, “Rachel’s going into labor”
- Rachel’s water broke at 4:15am.
- Eli came into our room at 5:15am and for once, we didn’t send him back to bed. One last cuddle for just the 3 of us.
- 5:30-9:45 – Rachel showered, made Eli’s lunch for daycare, watered all plants in the house, emptied the dishwasher, directed me around all while pausing every 10-20 minutes for those inconvenient contractions. :)
- 10am – We leave for the hospital
- 10:30am- We’re set up in the room and ready to roll
- 1pm- 6cm dilated, I decide it’s halftime and a good point to visit the cafeteria. I fill my try with food and checkout with a bill of $4. (Subsidized food!). I sit down and enjoy a leisurely lunch, reading the Ithaca Times.
- 1:30- I head back to the room and run into a couple in the elevator, asking me what I’m there for. I tell them it’s for the birth, and they say “wow, and you’re not in the room?” To which I reply that it’s the 2nd child. And they laughed and said, “of course.”
- 1:40pm- I walk to our room, now filled with 3 nurses staring at me and the baby warmer now positioned near the bed. I take it in, and realize we’re further along than expected. They tell me they were about to page me, and that Rachel is now 10cm dilated and ready to go.
- 2:16- Arrival…of a boy
Since Liam arrived before Thanksgiving, we’ve had a week of family in town and plenty of food. The past two days have been the new reality of our family of four. I started this blog 3 years ago when Rachel and I made the move to Ithaca. As I type this now, we have everything we could have been hoping for…
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